Done and Over

Now that the class is coming to an end, I can take a moment to breathe. Stress does not treat me well. Yet, it's very existence is dependant on my willingness to house it. The time however has come to grow up and move on, of which is a huge relief to my brain. I have decieded that it isn't the freedom of having no strings attached but the relief that I can move....

And that is how it nust be...

Stop

Another day, another frustration... What seems to be new? I feel as though i'm slowing down to a hault, and unable to compose myself and finish. I'm waiting for the next thing to sweep in and push me on my way, but instead I am still. I set, I wait. What's new? I'm not unhappy and I'm not dead; I'm just stopped. Maybe that's God's plan- to learn the secret of being content. Not a fun lesson to learn, but a necessary one.

I'm still, yet restless when push comes to shove. I will wait, yet i admit it is tiring. Quietness is all that consumes me- yet the quiet moves so massive- like the World moves yet not a sound is heard. We shall See- bring it on; i'll be still, i'll wait.

Bump

Another week flies by, not giving heed to the people it demolishes in the process. I have traveled beyond the emotional state of my bounds and now fight the urge to give up and throw in the towel. It hasn't been absolutly horrible, but gaining four kids over a matter of hours definitely wears on a person. i have been dragged around, used as a taxi, made the chief, and the house maid all so quickly. Not that it is bad, but so demanding. Today, however, is the last day. I will miss them but i will enjoy sleeping in till seven. The hardest thing is, is that they have grown up in an atmosphere i am foreign to. They are so demanding and have no way of knowing how to entertain themselves. Back to the kitchen i go, so i can teach them how to make pizza-from scratch. of which they were shocked it was possible- though little Mer is the smile of an afternoon. 

Vandal

Eyes set lock upon the front door awaiting the next intruder, all while the back door goes ungaurded. My mind set only on the destruction a vandal can do, I lack to wake up out of this haze. He sneaks in thorugh the back- i hear nothing. Slowly he stripps all that is precious in my quoint little home. He makes himself at home causing destruction. My home/ heart turned upside down, leaving nothing but the filth and stains of a memory. That was my day....

Not exactly how many would see it, but the sting of filth crests the roof of my mouth. It was just one of those days. There was no one to blame, no one to yell at, no one at all. The emotions of the day just seemed to cascade fire upon my, already ignited, house. The phone was disconnected and it seemed bleeck for any water to quench the flames.

Yeah, i see. I know it wasn't exactly like that but the feeling of the heat and the destruction enveloped my mind- leaving nothing but a grotesque chaos.

It wasn't long however i found rest, and the day soon was over. The intensity vanished and i woke up to my house/ heart in one.